I had a significant healing experience while taking a yoga class last week. We were doing a cleansing breath cycle near the end of the practice, and the way I was breathing brought up a deep childhood memory. I see these moments as the golden ticket, a special opportunity to bring compassion and resolution to traumas from my past.
I remembered the time my parents sat down with my sister and I and shared that my dad had six months left to live. I was 16 or 17. While we were navigating my dad’s journey through ALS, my family didn’t often talk about our feelings or how we were impacted by his illness and suffering. This moment was especially significant as we were all able to cry together, take a break from being “strong,” and put a lot of emotions out in the open. In this memory, my dad cried and breathed in a unique way because of reduced lung capacity from his illness.
As I was breathing in a similar way in yoga class, this vivid memory appeared, and brought all of the shock, overwhelm, and grief that was left to feel from this time. I felt relaxed and safe from the yoga class, and began to use my healing tools, opening to feelings as they arise and move through. I sat with the memory and observed each member of my family, offering compassion and understanding for their struggles. I also imagined that my overwhelming feelings were being fully acknowledged and understood by a caring presence.
There are times when we are safe enough to feel, that one’s system has capacity in the present moment to allow the past to resurface for another round of healing. This may arise in a particular posture, movement, or breath in yoga class. It may also arise in a healing massage, as deeper layers of muscle and connective are touched, possibly for the first time, and can then release what they have been holding from the past. (Interestingly, the lungs are the organ that holds grief in the body, and autumn is the season for grief, feeling emotions, and letting go, according to Traditional Chinese Medicine.)
These significant healing moments are extraordinary and natural at the same time. As we engage in a path of healing and self-inquiry, this allows deeper layers of self to be seen and released. Grateful to be on this path with you 🙏🏼
