Giving & Receiving Compassion

I spent this last weekend deepening my training in Thai massage. Compassion is the center of this powerful and nurturing form of massage.

Giving the massage includes cultivating Metta, loving kindness, and the highest wishes for the recipient. And in receiving this healing art, one receives this cascade of compassion.

I feel deeply nourished from immersing in this healing atmosphere. It was a soul treat to relax, focus, and breathe with a group of beautiful people for three days! Talk about the power of nervous systems resonating together. I am once again in awe at the power of touch to support healing on physical and emotional levels.

One more takeaway from the weekend is that yoga is a Thai massage you give yourself :)

Slow Motion Cures Commotion

"Slow motion cures commotion" is a poem and potent teaching from Zen master Paul Reps.

The frenetic activity of summer begins to distill into the essence of autumn. We have a moment of pause in the Earth season, here between Fire and Metal.

I am seeking out ways to slow down in my life and in my practice. When don't I need to be quick and efficient? An existential question for a Vata Pitta.

Sometimes it's getting out of the car slowly, being mindful of my posture. When my mind is frenetic, I have been connecting to the earth. Focusing my mind where my body touches the ground to be in the sensations of the here and now.

I return to the fundamentals of meditation, which are anything but basic. Repeating a mantra with my breath as I meditate. Returning to my body when I drift into past or future day dreams. Seeking out group practices to cultivate community connection and inspiration. Finding the support I need to practice just as I am right now.

I highly recommend Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, a beautiful book with translations and interpretations by Paul Reps. He had a special connection with my teacher and spent time at Shoshoni.

A Release of Long-Held Tension

Today I wanted to share a breakthrough that happens for some people during their massage sessions. It seems that bodies release deeply when they express their needs. How can we pursue this deeper release?

When someone makes a request or shares about their experience during a therapeutic massage, I will often feel a corresponding shift in their tissues. Like a release of long-held tension. I understand this as a special manifestation of the mind-body connection, an indication that it is transformative to voice one's experiences and needs in the moment. I imagine they are venturing into new territory to verbalize their body experience with another person and make requests.

I apply this in my life when I am at a choice-point to express something or keep it internalized. As I learn my mind-body system better and better, I can tell when my resistance to expression is keeping me small, avoiding a growth edge. Especially when sharing feels like a big risk.

Recently, I heard ego defenses defined (in video below) as temporarily abandoning authenticity in order to behave in a way that you believe, on an instinctual and unconscious level, is going to ensure your survival. As social creatures, it can be risky to express feelings and needs. It is a high risk with a high reward to communicate and be authentic in spite of some internal fear. The high reward is deeper connection with others, because we are showing up in our fullness. Other things in life are low risk, low reward. And we get to choose.

For more on authenticity and high risk, high reward, check out this video by Heidi Priebe.

Processing Through Creativity

Last week I celebrated my Dad's end-of-life anniversary. He was a professional musician who passed at age 47 from ALS, which he lived with for 4 years. His illness was a deeply defining life experience for me on many levels. As years go by, I understand more and more how his creative process helped him through these final years.

A year and a half into this health journey, my Dad was full-time in a wheelchair with a bit of finger movement left. One day, his brain and my hands dissected a computer mouse and we rewired it so he could accomplish a click with a tiny movement of his thumb. He had a head mouse where small head movements would move the cursor on the screen. 

Since he had all day to sit, he worked on an album, inputting note by note to create full songs. Friends would come to lay down live tracks and he would create midi instrumentation. With 30% lung capacity, he whisper-sang one of the songs.

Looking back, I see with new vision how immersing in this final project helped my Dad process the intense life experience that was happening. There is always room for creativity, even, or especially, when life gets really hard. It is so essential to focus on things of beauty and bring something new into existence, in whatever dimension you are inspired. I feel a new understanding of how important art is: how it connects us to the mystery of life and renews creative energy.